Lanzarote Pub Spy

If anyone asks why you like Lanzarote, show them this...

2011-02-15T05:39:00.000-08:00

Great video...

Lanzarote-mi amor / Lanzarote-my love from Denis Ahrens on Vimeo.

Lanzarote complains to Brussels over consumer rights

2010-11-11T02:06:00.000-08:00

The Lanzarote Consumer's Group, Aculanza, has written a letter to the European Commission urging them to investigate some issues in Lanzarote.

In the letter, the group claim that the recently passed Canarian Commercial License law, which limits the size of commercial units on the Island, is not in line with European guidelines and acts against the consumer.

They also claim that Lanzarote has, not only some of the most expensive supermarket prices in the Canaries, but in fact, some of the most expensive in Europe.

The item was reported in La Voz and is Google-translated here by your humble servant, the Pub Spy:

Aculanza asks the Commission to inspect the situation of consumers in Lanzarote

BY Ruth Gabilondo • 10 November 2010

The Association of Consumers and Users of Lanzarote, Aculanza, has sent a letter to the Commissioner of Competition Commission for it to inspect the situation of consumers on the island. According to this group, Lanzarote's shopping baskets are the most expensive not only in the Canary Islands or Spain, but also the European Union.

In the letter, Aculanza criticizes the new Law for the Commercial License Canary Islands, which was approved by the regional parliament in December 2009 and set to Lanzarote a sales area of 1,650 square meters and a total of 3,500 square meters for the whole island area.

According to Aculanza, the new policy is a breach of the European Directive, which set no limit on the commercial area. "The restrictions approved represents a significant decline in business freedom, the right of consumers to choose between different forms of trade, their offers and terms without further bureaucratic interference as a fundamental principle of the acquis communautaire indicated from Aculanza.

Aculanza also reminded the European Commission in their letter that there has been several protests supporting the situation of consumers in Lanzarote. In 2008 they held a rally and collected 15,004 signatures to denounce the high costs of shopping baskets in Lanzarote. Even a consumer group moved to Gran Canaria to show that in the island's shopping cart is up to 30 percent cheaper than in Lanzarote.

Lanzarote can help you lose weight

2010-11-04T09:49:00.000-07:00

Stumbled across this article the other day:

http://www.thetherapylounge.com/hypnotherapy-news/c-8256/women-loses-10-stone-after-being-forced-to-wear-a-seatbelt-extension/

It seems the woman in question boarded her flight for Lanzarote but the regular seatbelt wouldn't fit her:

Andrea Rutter was settling for her flight to Lanzarote when she realised she was unable to strap herself into her seat. The embarrassment of having to wear a seatbelt extension in order to fly left the 44 year old feeling extremely embarrassed.

"Looking back it was the most upsetting time for me - going on holiday with friends and having to squeeze into the seat. I had to ask for an extension belt so it would fit round my waist. It was horrendous, I felt so embarrassed and ashamed that I had let myself go so much," she said.

The incident was the wake up call she needed...

Now, would ever said Lanzarote was bad for your health???

The Best Pub in Lanzarote

2010-10-18T02:07:00.000-07:00

The best pub in Lanzarote is frequented by tourists and ex-pats alike. Over a few beers in the afternoon, you can sit in the shade inside or catch some sun on the terrace. At night, the place is hopping with lively music, loud conversation and infectious smiles on everyone's face.

It doesn't serve food, so there's no lingering smell of grease or fried onions.

The friendly staff don't know your name, but they recognise your face. And they remember what you want, when you say "Same again, please."

Though the women claim not to notice these things, Carlo behind the bar gives them the eye and always tells them they're looking beautiful tonight. Neither do the men notice that the girls on the floor are very chatty, and are always smiling, whether you tip them or not.

The spirits are all brand names and a cheap equivalent wouldn't be let inside the door. The measures are generous, without being intimidating - you can fit plenty of your mixer in the glass. The beer is very cold, as is the Guinness. The best pub in Lanzarote has a reputation for good Guinness - hence, they sell a lot of it. And hence, there's a good flow on the tap. The place never claimed to be a wine tavern so the choice of wine is sufficient but limited.

The toilets aren't huge, but they're always spotlessly clean. The soap in the dispenser smells sweet and the hand-drier blows out warm air at a fast enough rate.

The music recedes a little and people tend to drift away around 1.00am. Though there's no sign that the staff are getting ready to close yet. You've been there some nights 'til all hours and never heard 'Last Orders' being called.

You leave the place smiling and finish the story you were telling to the people you met on the way to the taxi rank. Tomorrow's going to be sunny again. You'll get up late, have breakfast and then go for a stroll. In the afternoon, you might call to see if there's anyone around in The "___" Bar again.

Jet2 promotes Lanzarote

2010-10-04T01:47:00.000-07:00

Low fares carrier Jet2 has some LIVE MUSIC info on it's site about the island. Tis standard oul PR stuff, but sure who'll complain if it brings in a few extra bodies?

Check Out Some Live Music with Cheap Flights to Lanzarote

Live music and entertainment events have proved to be a huge success in Lanzarote this year, which has been the catalyst for an autumn programme of events starting on 2 October 2010.

This weekend kicks off the autumn season with some Brazilian jazz, led by Vanessa Borghagian and jazz plays a major part through the autumn and winter live music events. This schedule should add to Lanzarote’s appeal as a winter sun destination.

Experiencing a Real Vibe of Lanzarote

Along with guaranteed sunshine and plenty of beautiful beaches to lounge on, visitors arriving on cheap flights to Lanzarote will now find a crammed schedule of live music to keep them entertained.

Between 8 and 12 October there will be plenty of jazz shows held at the Cueva de los Verdes, the gardens at Jameos del Agua and in the restaurant of the International Contemporary Art Museum at the Castillo de San José.

Visitors will find plenty of local wines to sample at some of these events, giving them a real vibe of live entertainment on Lanzarote. With so much to do in the evenings, not to mention during the day, cheap flights to Lanzarote should be popular this winter.

Top ten things to do in Lanzarote

2010-09-27T05:05:00.000-07:00

From the helium.com website, "where knowledge rules":

1. Take a ‘Grand Island Tour.’
2. Visit Timanfaya National Park
3. Visit Jameos del Agua
4. See the lagoon at El Golfo
5. Take a camel trek up the volcano
6. Visit the vine growing area
7. Visit the home of Cesar Manrique
8. Marvel at the viewpoint of Mirador del Rio
9. Relax on the beaches at Papagayo
10. Take a boat trip to Fuerteventura

Link: http://www.helium.com/items/1965140-lanzarote---best-ten-attractions

...and not an Irish/British bar in sight on any of the above!

Ryanair to continue flights from Shannon

2010-09-15T01:29:00.000-07:00

For anyone flying from the West of Ireland this story will be of interest:

http://www.clarepeople.com/201009132331/Ryanair-to-go-ahead-with-Shannon-flights-to-Lanzarote.html

Ryanair will continue to fly from Shannon to Lanzarote this winter, despite their cutting of other services from that airport.

Seems Mick O'Leary knows that Irish Lanzarote-lovers will still flock to the island...

£30,000 for a studio apartment

2010-09-11T15:08:00.000-07:00

I should correct the assumption in the last blog post about the man who supposedly saved £50,000 by NOT buying a property on the island.

This saving was based on the assumption that you couldn't get any property on the island for less than £100,000.

Since that post was posted, I've seen this:

http://www.lanzaroteinvestments.com/puerto-del-carmen.asp

...stating that you can get a studio apartment in Puerto del Carmen for roughly £30,000.

Alright, the man in the last post would have to take his holiday in Puerto del Carmen rather than Playa Blanca, but still...an apartment for £30,000!

You couldn't go wrong, could you?

Man visits Lanzarote 69 times, saves £50,000

2010-08-14T07:20:00.000-07:00

I stumbled across this news item this morning. Is this man Lanzarote's most frequent visitor?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/08/14/businessman-eric-willson-takes-69-holidays-to-lanzarote-in-20-years-115875-22486516/

The point about him buying his own holiday home--rather than renting accommodation every time--caught my eye: he reckons he's spent £50,000 on his 69 trips. Any decent apartment would have cost at least double this.

So, someone who visits three times a year, every year saves himself £50,000 by not buying his own place.

There's not too many estate agents around who would explain this side of things.

The overhead costs of bars in Lanzarote

2010-08-06T07:03:00.000-07:00

The cost of having a drink in Lanzarote is always a debatable topic.

The difference between price and value is often lost during such debates. I've paid €4 for a bottle of Heineken in some bars and felt this to be better value for money than paying €2 for the same thing in another bar.

Live music is cited as being the reason why some places (mostly Irish bars) charge more for drinks. This is just an excuse in some cases, however, since the cost of live entertainment varies much more than the cost of drinks. For example, there's a bar in the Old Town of PDC (now closed, unfortunately) whose live music costs were in the region of €650 per night. Yet, they only charged the same as other live music bars whose nightly entertainment costs would be closer to €150; that is, 75% less than there own.

Live entertainment is only part of the equation anyway. Let's move onto staff costs. These, in general, will be fairly stable, with total staff costs fluctuating up and down in line with the size of the establishment (larger bar = more staff and more staff costs, but more income - in theory at least!)

Rent is the really big one. Bars that are in situ with a while should--if they have a reasonable landlord--be paying less than ones that opened in the late noughties. This is changing too though and the price of renting/buying should come down in line with the amount of locales now lying vacant. Such a drop is not guaranteed, however, especially given the traditional immobility of Spanish landlords.

Given that most of us don't know what the overheads are in any particular bar we walk into, then it's hard to say definitively whether we're getting value for money or not. Take the advice of a fool: if the staff are friendly, the toilets clean and the beer cold, then chances are you will get value for your money. If you feel like you're not getting value for money, then pay for the one drink you had and simply walk into the bar next door.

Eamonn

2010-07-28T06:56:00.001-07:00

I'm not one for public displays of emotion, but I thought writing down a few words here would help get things straight in my head.

Eamonn passed away on the 16th of July 2010. I met him for the first time 10 years ago, during the Summer of 2000 when I first moved to Lanzarote.

The first time I saw him he was striding outside the Craic towards the steps that lead down to Freddies. He had his arms out in front of him--as they always seemed to be. Thinking back now over the 10 years I've known him--through working with him, drinking with him and generally being in his company--he always seemed to have his arms out in front of him, never by his side. Neither did he ever stoll or amble, he always walked with purpose. Everything he did, he did with meaning. This probably reflected his attitude towards life - t'was never enough to just live life, you had to enjoy instead.

The pictures and the comments on the facebook page are nice - there's little doubt that Eamonn would have detested such niceness and would not have been shy about, ahem, voicing his grumpy displeasure at such sentimentality. The pictures of you though give the game away Eamonn and you couldn't fool those who really knew you - you weren't that grumpy and you weren't that crazy. Your big smiley head in those pictures shows the real Eamonn: happy and content, with a personality so large it filled the entire Old Town. (And from what I hear, it filled Ballyduff in Co. Waterford too.)

Your like will never again be seen. And for anyone who ever met you, Lanzarote changed forever on July 16th, 2010.

Bye bye big fella.

Don't get caught with unlicensed on-line travel agents

2010-07-16T02:44:00.000-07:00

The on-line hotel booking company 1800hotels.ie filed for bankruptcy a few days ago.

This has left many holiday makers high and dry: they've paid for their hotel through this company, but they arrive at their destination to be told that the booking has been cancelled. Left with little option, people have to pay a second time for their hotel room. Now, instead of paying €600 for your room for the week, you end up paying €1,200 (or more, if your hotel reception says that €600 was a discounted internet offer and the real price is actually higher).

Hopefully, all those in this situation with 1800hotels will get their money back through their credit card companies.

This unfortunate episode really highlights the danger of using unlicensed, unbonded on-line travel agents. Before anyone resolves to never again book holidays on the internet, remember that lots of established "real-world" travel companies have on-line outlets. These will be bonded (meaning that they have deposited 'fail-safe' cash with the appropriate Government licensing body, so that if they go bust while you're abroad then there's still money there to get you back and cover your expenses).

But, how can you tell which are the unbonded "virtual" travel agents that could cause you a load of heartache if they go bust. Well, all reputable travel companies should have the license/bonded symbol on their site (usually their 'Homepage' or on their 'About Us' page). See the end of the Budget Travel website for an example of what to look out for. The letters ITAA (Irish Travel Agents Association) or ABTA (The Travel Association) should also be on the page someplace. See the bottom of the First Choice website for another example.

If you're in any doubt, contact the website company directly and ask them if they're licensed and bonded. If you don't get a reply or you're still unsure, then don't book - is it really worth the hassle of worrying about paying for your room twice just to save a few quid?

10 songs every cover musician should know

2010-07-06T08:26:00.000-07:00

"You can play what you like on your own time. When you're on my time you play what my customers like."

This was the instruction my ex-boss gave to many musicians/entertainers if they indulged themselves by playing what they liked personally rather than what the punters liked.

With this in mind, I tried to think of 10 fail-safe songs that every stage jockey should know. There are loads more I'm sure...

1. Brown-eyed Girl (Van Morrisson)
2. Mrs. Robinson (Simon & Garfunkel)
3. Hey Jude (The Beatles)
4. Delilah (Tom Jones)
5. Nancy Spain (Christy Moore)
6. Suspicious Minds (Elvis)
7. Knockin' on Heaven's Door (Bob Dylan)
8. The Wild Rover (The Dubliners)
9. Lyin' Eyes (The Eagles)
10. Satisfaction (The Rolling Stones)

So, any suggestions for other favourite Lanzarote songs?

Free Guidebook to Lanzarote

2010-06-18T01:49:00.000-07:00

From travelio.net:

The 11th edition of Lanzarote Guidebook, the in-depth island information guide, is out now. And can be downloaded fast and for free from the Lanzarote Guidebook website.

FREE GUIDEBOOK FOR EVERY VISITOR

Now all tourists visiting Lanzarote can save money and make the most of their holidays by getting their hands on a comprehensive, 96 page Guidebook to the island – entirely free of charge. By downloading a copy of the latest edition of Lanzarote Guidebook at:

http://www.lanzaroteguidebook.com/download-guidebook.php

LOCAL KNOWLEDGE - THE INSIDE GUIDE

Lanzarote Guidebook is written and published by local residents. So readers can benefit from their in-depth local knowledge, rather than wasting precious holiday time and money visiting tourist traps and enduring low quality meals in dodgy restaurants.

ALWAYS UP TO DATE

It is published every quarter, so the information in Lanzarote Guidebook is always accurate and up to date. Unlike conventional guidebooks which can often be obsolete in parts by the time they reach the bookshelves.

READER DISCOUNTS

Lanzarote Guidebook readers can also enjoy discounts at local restaurants and on some of the islands best excursions. With 10% off the price of a trip on Lanzarote´s popular Yellow Submarine available – along with a 10% discount on all meals at La Cabaña, one of the islands leading restaurants.

WHY BUY A GUIDEBOOK?

Lanzarote Guidebook contains all of the information and high quality pictures that can be found in a conventional Guidebook – but at no cost. Enabling readers to explore all of Lanzarote´s resorts and attractions, browse maps and plan their holiday before they even arrive on the island.

DELIVERED TO THE DOOR

As well as being available as a fast and free download Lanzarote Guidebook can also be delivered direct to any address in the UK at a cost of £3.59, which covers postage and packing.

Price of drinks in Puerto del Carmen

2010-06-08T02:29:00.000-07:00

I made the following reply to a question posted recently on the Gazette forum about the price of drinks in Puerto del Carmen:

There's a big variety between different bars/restaurants, but this is a rough guide:

1. a bottle of beer , local and brand eg: budwieser

1. spanish pubs and resturants

Local bottle (Dorado, Tropical, etc.) is probably no more than €1.50 - €2. Add 50c or a €1 for Bud/Miller. Though Heineken is likely to be the same price as local bottles.

2. british/irish/european pubs and resturants

Local bottle probably €2.50 - €3. Again, add at least 50c or €1 for branded bottles, including Heineken. The cheapest price is probably the Brendan Behan in the Old Town, PDC (€2 for Bud/Heineken) and the Dubliner down towards the far end of the strip is one of the more expensive (€4.50 for a bottle of Heineken!).

3. clubs like ruta 66 etc

Similar to british/irish/european pubs. Though add another €1 for bars in Centro Atlantico, PDC. Expect to pay up to €5 for a bottle of Bud in some places around there.

2. a vodka and coke/orange/lemonade

1. spanish pubs and resturants

Local spirit/mixer = €3 - €4. Smirnoff/mixer probably not much more.

2. british/irish/european pubs and resturants

Huge range!!! From €3 for Smirnoff/mixer to €6 for local spirit/mixer in places.

3. clubs like ruta 66 etc

No less than €5, but more likely €6.

3. soft drinks

1. spanish pubs and resturants

€1 to €1.50

2. british/irish/european pubs and resturants

Anything between €1 and €2.50

3. clubs like ruta 66 etc

Around €2 - €2.50

Hope this helps. Please don't quote me on the above. It's just guesstimates in some places.

As a rule of thumb, add €1 to every drink when you move from a Spanish bar to an Irish/English bar (though not all!) and another €1 when you move to disco bars and clubs. There are exceptions obviously, such as the San Miguel bar in the harbour, which would be more expensive than some of the Irish/English bars around.

Lanzarote stress levels and the island's rumour mill

2010-05-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

Providing a service to the public is hard work.

Providing a service to members of the public who are intoxicated is very hard work.

Providing a service to drunken holiday-makers, many of whom assume everyone on the island is out to steal their money, is extremely hard work.

But such is the lot of many ex-pats who serve drinks (and food) to holiday-makers. For every nice couple this ex-barman met, there seemed to five others demanding more beer beside them.

Let's not get into a woe-was-me lament though - that wouldn't be nice and it would be boring to boot. Instead, I state these facts (opinion?) solely in order to give some context as to what being a bar-person is really like in Lanzarote.

You need to de-stress after work and the most popular way to do this is to go for a drink (or eight) and have a whinge about holiday-makers, fellow staff, family, friends, the pope and anyone else who's unfortunate enough to pop into your head.

Add to this the fact that Lanzarote is a small place. And the ex-pat community is smaller still. Hence, nearly everyone knows everyone else. This means you end up giving out about people you know, (for the most part anyway - there are some who rise above this pastime).

The very nature of the place implies rumours, stress and drinking to excess.

My advice? Rise above it, if you can at all. If you can't, then at least try to behave and don't give people too much to talk about.

Better Internet connection in Lanzarote

2010-05-13T05:02:00.000-07:00

Seems there's going to be better broadband connectivity on the island early next year, with new cabling being laid between Cadiz and the Canaries:

http://www.totaltele.com/view.aspx?ID=455434

Hopefully, more stable Internet connections will lead to better quality Skype calls and the like to friends and family back in the UK and Ireland.

Five pubs worth a visit in Puerto del Carmen

2010-05-04T04:34:00.000-07:00

You can’t sunbathe at night. And you can’t sit in a restaurant for the night after you’ve finished your dinner. The weather and the food: that’s two of Lanzarote’s big attractions out of the way then. So, what to do in Lanzarote after 10.00pm of an evening?

Well, you can go back to your apartment for an early night. If you like. But more likely, you’ll head for a drink to round off the day. So, next question: Where to go? There are plenty of options. In reality, there are too many pubs, really. So, what to do? Sure, ask for a recommendation!

Here then is a list, in no particular order, of five watering holes that visitors to Lanzarote would enjoy.

Monday – The Bodhran
The Bodhran is one of the oldest and most genuine of the Irish bars in Lanzarote. Open nearly 15 years now, neither the bar nor its owners Kay, Willie and Linda have changed much in that time and their welcome is still as warm as ever.
The bar holds about 30-40 people when it’s full, but I think the record attendance was set at around 100-ish on a Sunday afternoon years ago when the Bodhran was one of the only places you could catch the GAA matches on the island.
No matter what time of day or night you wander in, there’s always someone to have a chat to.
Most likely to hear: “Cork for the All-Ireland!”
Least likely to hear: “I wish Aer Lingus would stop all their flights out of Cork.”
Where is it? 50 yards up from the main beach road in the New Town, on Calle Anzuelo. Stand outside the Dos Mil supermarket and look up the side-road there.

===

Tuesday - The Green Door
Perhaps a strange choice for a bar-worth-an-hour-of-your-holiday-time, but the Green Door is a must for anyone who wants to see a real Canarian bar. Populated by locals with the odd ex-pat thrown in for good measure, the Green Door is a hub of activity with Spanish football, dominos and cards discussed in the only way the Canarians know how: loudly and faux-angrily.
The bar might not actually be called the Green Door at all, but it’s this feature that has given the place its name.
Most likely to hear: “Lynx no es barrato, verdad.” (Deodorant is not cheap, I’m tellin’ ya.)
Least likely to hear: “Mucho parfumo caro esta noche” (There’s a wicked smell of expensive perfume here tonight.)
Where is it? 20 yards up from the crossroads in the Old Town, on the right-hand-side.

===

Wednesday - The Hawaiian Bar
The Hawaiian Bar is not always on the radar of UK and Irish holidaymakers, but if you’re after a chilled out atmosphere and a few drinks to watch the world go by, then this is a good spot.
Gently globed candles on the table and Bob Marley on the stereo set the tone in the Hawaiian. There’s also the small matter of the cocktails on offer and the elaborate decoration of the glasses they arrive in.
If you want something far removed from the stereotypical Irish and British bars in Puerto del Carmen, and you like candles, Marley and cocktails, then check out the Hawaiian some night.
Most likely to hear: “Chill mon”
Least likely to hear: “The Nasdaq closed up 3 percentage points today”.
Where is it? Walk from Centro Atlantico, down the main beach road, towards the San Antonio hotel. The bar is on the right-hand-side, just before a major road junction on the left.

===

Thursday - San Miguel Bar
Loud, fashionable and full of beautiful Spanish folk, the San Miguel in the harbour is where you go to strut your stuff on a night out in the Old Town. That’s if you feel like strutting your stuff, of course.
There’s a live DJ every night (a real one, not the barman-stroke-DJ you get in many places) and when he’s not watching every woman in the place he changes the music and turns it louder with each passing song.
Say it quietly, but the Heineken bar next door is similar to the San Miguel, but it just never has the same cool atmosphere.
Most likely to hear: Loud salsa music.
Least likely to hear: “This place is sooo relaxing.”
Where is it? Walk down to the harbour. Stand where the men play bowls and look up to the right.

===

Friday - The Brendan Behan
In the form of Eamonn behind the bar, the Brendan Behan has its very own lyrical Irishman. Indeed, he has also been known to take a drop of the hard stuff on occasion.
The Behan originally opened beside the Biosfera shopping centre, but relocated to the La Hoya a few years back. The extra space in the Behan’s new home meant owner Mick could finally get all his guitars out from under the bed and give them a new home.
There’s live music every night and the low drink prices means your pocket won’t feel too empty after a night out.
Most likely to hear: “Bloody hell, that’s cheap.”
Least likely to hear: “Bloody hell, that’s expensive.”
Where is it? Walk into the La Hoya centre at the crossroads in the Old Town, past the surf shop on the corner. Turn to the right at the corner just past the Blarney Stone.

===

Not quite Ronnie Drew’s seven drunken nights, but certainly heading in that direction…

Good news for Lanzarote property estate agents

2010-04-12T04:39:00.000-07:00

A flood of Irish people are looking to buy property in Lanzarote, according to yesterday's (11/04/2010) Sunday Tribune:

http://www.tribune.ie/property/article/2010/apr/11/sun-and-moon-guaranteed/

The article claims that:

The majority are planning a permanent home, as opposed to a holiday pad.

"This is quite a new thing – before this we hadn't really had people enquiring about the island in terms of a complete lifestyle change as is often the pattern in the UK. But now there is an attitude of 'enough is enough' in relation to the gloomy economic situation at home."

A nice plug for Lanzarote in a national Sunday newspaper, if nothing else.

Nudists and naturism in Lanzarote

2010-04-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

When they walk into a pub/restaurant of an evening, you just know to look at some people that they were stark naked in Papagayo a few hours earlier.

And it's not the great tan or lack of strap marks that gives it away. Rather, it's the big grins on their face that fail to hide the fact that they feel duur-tier (great Oirish word!) and sexier than they usually do (back in Oslo, Frankfurt, Croyden, Wexford, or wherever it is they hail from).

I've never seen the great attraction in it myself, but I can appreciate that others find the whole idea of being naked in public (-ish) places absolutely invigorating (hence, the big grins, one imagines). There's something of an exhibitionist tendency to it, for me. If you've got something to show off, then great. But from what I gather, those mostly middle-aged couples who do let it all hang out, often have too much to let hang out - images of sagging bellies and boobs on both the women and the men spring to mind, unfortunately.

Thankfully for those of us who don't like such sights, Papagayo is not someplace you happen across easily, (nor is it exclusively for naturists). Indeed, you have to kinda go out of your way to get to the beach there.

What's not so out of the way though is a village - whose name mysteriously escapes me now (!) - in the middle (north?) of the island; where, I've been reliably informed, people can let it all hang out wherever they like. Shops, walking down the street, even bars and restaurants apparently are cool with the naturist thing. Many's the unsuspecting tourist has supposedly happened upon this clothes-free zone, only to be struck blind for all eternity by the god-less creatures therein with their willies and fionnulas on show for all to see.

But before anyone gets excited and sets out to find this place, I should state that it might be just an urban legend. Or it might be a story for the day that's in it.

Or it might all be true...

My advice? Don't take a chance and drop your keks the next time you're in Tahiche in the hope that you're in the right place. Head for Papagayo and get the all-over tan sorted first!

Future cabaret stars for Lanzarote

2010-03-23T03:35:00.000-07:00

You might have already heard of them, but on the following video clip Crystal Swing look like they are the natural successors to Andy, Nuala and Billy Hughes in Puerto del Carmen's Old Town. This is Derek doing the Hucklebuck on The Late Late Show:

http://www.youtube.com/user/CrystalSwingVideos#p/u/1/nyl7D8L_-Tk

I'm guessing that we'll hear their hit 'She Drinks Tequila' around the Old Town at some stage in the future.

Speaking of songs about tequila, I came across a real Lanzarote legend on youtube too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TnFvuPYIF8

Gone but never forgotten George. Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam.

St. Patrick's Day in Lanzarote

2010-03-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

More pictures: this time from the first ever St. Patrick's Day Parade in Puerto del Carmen:

http://www.charlieslanzarote.com/photos/thumbnails.php?album=82

Beautiful scenic pictures of Lanzarote

2010-03-11T02:14:00.000-08:00

Here's some pictures that were posted on a few Lanzarote forums recently:

http://picasaweb.google.com/Bkfiybis

I've never seen the island looking so green.

Cost of holidays in Lanzarote

2010-02-28T13:14:00.000-08:00

I met a 30-something Irish couple late last year who were reasonably happy with the cost of their Lanzarote flights and accommodation. They paid roughly €450 for return flights for the two of them and their 11-month-old son. Self-catering accommodation for 12 nights set them back approx. €400.

I was bored the other day when this chance meeting sprang to mind and just to be nosey, I checked out similar flights and accommodation for the same time (mid-October) this year.

Flights would now cost them €550 with Aer Lingus or €520 with Ryanair. The accommodation is roughly the same price (€420, "incl. discount"!). This means the same holiday in recession-hit 2010 would cost roughly €100 more (€850 compared to €940) than it did in 2009.

Pardon my ignorance on all matters of economics now, but this strikes me as slightly odd. The recession gets worse, people have less money, but consumer prices go up!

Whatever about the inner workings of Aer Lingus and Ryanair's pricing strategies, I assumed accommodation prices in Lanzarote would have come down. Or at least would be negotiable - is it not better to have someone in your apartment/villa paying even 50% of the landlord's mortgage rather than having no one at all there?

If someone could enlighten me, it would be much appreciated.

Spain 'not foreign enough' for Brits

2010-02-17T02:48:00.000-08:00

I saw this and had to smile...

http://www.independent.ie/and-finally/spain-not-foreign-enough-for-brits-2066605.html

But it's sad in a way, as Lanzarote appears to be guilty of the same charge: too many Irish and British bars in the resorts, with the local supermarkets increasingly stocking produce to make the holiday-makers feel at home.

Lanzarote: Home from home, just with better weather!

The present and future of Lanzarote tourism

2010-02-14T14:19:00.000-08:00

I recently met a 50-something couple from my original neck of the woods while they were on holiday in Puerto del Carmen. They had been to the other Canary Islands as well as several popular spots on the Spanish mainland, but this was their first time in Lanzarote.

And their verdict of the island? They reckoned Lanzarote will become their regular holiday destination from here on - "having tried the rest, they've now found the best" was the gist of what they thought.

This is not the first time I've heard such sentiments from holiday-makers. (Though there's others I'm sure who don't like the place and vow never to return - these seem to be few in number, thankfully.) Another two couples I know from "home" who are in their early 30s were over at Christmas for a week. They too said they would now become regular visitors to Lanzarote. One of the couples even looked at some properties with a view to buying a holiday home here.

Let's not get into a "I-love-Lanzarote" promotion though here - suffice to say that there is and hopefully will continue to be a steady stream of people who arrive in Lanzarote and fall for the place. If the current drop in tourist numbers can be survived, then perhaps a happy balance between the number of Irish and English bars and holiday-makers will be found once again.

Tweeting and posting about Lanzarote

2010-02-08T15:08:00.000-08:00

To get the name/location of this blog "out there", I created a Twitter account and decided to tweet about Lanzarote.

Thus far, I'm following 10 people and have 5 people following me. Not great figures after almost a month in the Twitter-sphere, though admittedly I haven't tweeted that much.

I can only conclude that many people on the island have better things to do than tweet themselves and read the tweets of others. This is probably a good reflection of Lanzarote. Why would anyone want to sit in, logged on to the Internet, reading about life in Lanzarote, when they could be out there living it themselves?

The number of Lanzarote tweeters is tiny compared to the population of the island as a whole - similar to Ireland and the UK, one imagines. Of those who do tweet, you'd have to guess that they are logged on to the Web as part of their job anyway. Again the same as Ireland and the UK.

This situation is reflected in those who post on Internet forums also. They (we!) represent a small section of the overall population. There's some consolation in this fact for anyone who innocently asks a question on an Internet forum and is ambushed (and usually insulted, to boot) by the regular posters on that forum. Unfortunately, I've seen this behaviour on both the Discover Lanzarote and Lanzarote Gazette forums. It does the forums and the island itself a great dis-service.

Perhaps the world of Twitter offers a more useful "forum" for those newbies who are looking for information about Lanzarote and every other kind of info they might seek.

Perhaps I'm not finished tweeting just yet :-)

Moving to Lanzarote (Part 2)

2010-01-29T07:17:00.000-08:00

I look in on the Discover Lanzarote forum (see Links below) too from time to time. A few months ago, a business owner on that forum claimed that he worked an average of 100hrs per week, just to keep his business operating.

Assuming that this nice round number is really the case (And who am I to disbelieve the man?), this 100 hours/week equates to just over 14 hours per day, 7 days a week. Or just over 16-and-a-half hours per day, 6 days a week, if the business owner takes 1 day a week off.

Leaving aside how anyone could do this on a continual basis the point made by this workaholic is a valid one: most people have to work long hours on the island just to make a living.

Many moving to Lanzarote state that they're ready for this type of work environment. However, the reality of it only hits them after a few weeks/months of this endless toiling. It's hard going when you've only got yourself to consider, but when there's close family involved too, then the stresses can really begin to emerge.

This situation is not unique to Lanzarote. It happens everywhere. What IS different about Lanzarote though is the fact that so many ex-pats work in the bar/restaurant trade. Dealing with the public, by definition, can be stressful enough. Add to this stress the boundless supply of cheap/free booze that comes with the territory and plenty of co-workers/holidaymakers to share it with, and you've a recipe for trouble in the camp.

But that's only part of the 'Living in Lanzarote' story.

If there was a real roadmap for emigrating to the island, then it'd be a bestseller. But while general do's and dont's are very useful, such rules don't apply equally to all those who move over. Neither is it possible to completely take off the rose-tinted glasses before you arrive in Lanzarote.

To finish my rambling then, I'd say good luck to those who decide to make the move. Just be prepared for where your journey may end up taking you.

Moving to Lanzarote (Part 1)

2010-01-27T05:06:00.000-08:00

I keep an eye on the Lanzarote Holiday Gazette forum (see Links below) and the only topic vexing people there at the moment is whether or not now is the right time to move to the island.

A few new people to the forum have declared that they're either currently in the process of moving over or are moving in the near future. The newbies have asked for advice, naturally enough, about making such a move. And indeed, advice has been very forthcoming from people who have varying points-of-view, both from those who reside on the island and those who holiday here. Work, schools, property prices and crime levels are mostly the topics covered.

Now, I've pontificated on opening up a new business on the island previously, so I won't re-visit that. I'm also going to leave aside whether or not now is the right time to move, save the same advice that applies to any new venture in life: try before you buy. That is, come to Lanzarote for 3 - 6 months, work as you would have to if you were a resident, and then decide what you want to do.

What really fascinates me is the diversity of opinion on proposed new ex-pats in Lanzarote. Some business owners fancy that they're the only ones who know enough to make a living there and potential new ex-pats obviously threaten this belief a little. Others claim that being fluent in Spanish is not a requirement for running a business in Lanzarote, but is a prerequisite for enjoying life on the island. Some advisors try to pull the ropes up after themselves and declare that nobody else should move to Lanzarote now, while some wannabe ex-pats assume they just need to find work here and all else will fall into place.

However, something I have noticed during the discussions is that nobody mentions the sensitive issues of marital break-up and alcoholism (i.e. the seemingly high levels thereof) amongst ex-pats on the island.

Anyway, lunch and a siesta calls. More anon...

Amendment to the last post

2010-01-25T08:24:00.000-08:00

The post entitled 'Just entertain me, damn it!' might have given the impression that all the musicians/entertainers on the island are preening wannabes. This couldn't be further from the truth.

There are a few wannabes, but most of Lanzarote's musicians/entertainers are down-to-earth, honest types who are good at what they do. I consider many of them friends.

And there are some really innovative artists there too. One of the best is Rory. Check him out on You Tube:

Rory mixing it up

I miss going down to Buddy's to see him play.

Just entertain me, damn it!

2010-01-20T08:36:00.000-08:00

Following on from the rant below re freedom fighters and office junior clerks, I thought I'd have a go at some musicians on the island this time around.

Unfortunately, there's many a musico who fancy themselves as something of an ar-tee-ist, rather than an entertainer. On an island where gigs and popularity are the only real currency, this pretension is something of an indulgence.

If you want to play the music you like, then do it in the confines of your own bedroom; not in a bar full of holiday-makers who, for the most part, just want a bit of a sing-a-long and maybe something to dance to before the end of the night. The majority of people I've met on the island over the years (be they tourists or residents) have no interest in "appreciating your talent". If you can hit a high C and shatter a glass with your voice, or play the 8-minute solo of 'Freebird' note for note, nobody cares! The punters just want a laugh and a good time, not a recital performance.

One popular musician/entertainer told me some years ago that you could indulge yourself on stage by playing one song you like for every 10 songs you play for the crowd. For the 10 years I've been in Lanzarote, I've never seen this guy out of work. I'm not advocating this as a roadmap for being a success on the island, but such a sense of self-awareness is surely a prerequisite for us all.

Freedom fighters & office junior clerks

2010-01-15T07:24:00.000-08:00

A bit of a rant here now, so apologies in advance.

Why do some idiots (mostly Irish, I'm ashamed to admit) turn into freedom fighters after a few drinks when they're on holidays? Give these clowns, men and women alike, a few pints and all of a sudden, they want to start singing "rebel" songs?

Let's leave aside the fact that most of these eejits have never even been to the North of Ireland, nevermind know anything about the Troubles there. But no, surrounded by people they don't know, in a foreign country, they start bawling about Sean South and the Black n'Tans.

A true story: I was in a bar a few years ago and the musicians were both Englishmen*. A drunken Irish couple asked them to sing the Broad Black Brimmer. Now this couple weren't trying to be smart, you understand. It just never dawned on them that such a song might be offensive to an English person.

* Any Irish musician worth his or her salt would be equally offended to be asked to sing such clap-trap.

It said much about what they really knew about the song itself or its meaning. Like most people who sing rebel songs, this couple knew nothing of the North. (Like myself - perhaps I'm lucky as I know nothing much about it either. But then I don't ever profess to know much about the Troubles. And certainly not enough to sing songs about the suffering of either side.)

Why oh why do people who wouldn't pick a fight with the junior office clerk at home turn into wannabe freedom fighters on holidays? As a friend of mine once said, they wouldn't fight their way out of a Tayto bag!

Restaurant review

2010-01-08T08:16:00.001-08:00

I was thinking about doing a restaurant review for one of the many eateries I've dined at in Lanzarote. But on mature reflection, I decided against this. It wouldn't really be fair on the restaurant involved and I might be back there again to eat at some stage!

Instead I'm going to allow a comparison to be made between eating out in Ireland and eating out in Lanzarote. If nothing else, this might make us feel better about what we're charged in restaurants on the rock.

During a recent trip, Mrs. Pub Spy and I found ourselves in Kinsale, Co. Cork, Ireland. Well, we made it our business to find ourselves there, to be honest, so spend a voucher Mrs. Pub Spy received during the course of her daily toil. She'd spoken of a desire at her place of work to someday visit Co. Cork and, lo-and-behold, some grateful guest gave her a €100 dinner voucher to spend, if she ever got there. It was for a certain hotel in Kinsale; a coastal town, some 20-odd miles from Cork city.

Anyway, that's how we ended up there eating out in Kinsale during a recent trip. So far, so boring.

To cut to the chase: (1) the food was very nice, (2) the service was fine, (3) the atmosphere was grand. But a look at the receipt says much about how lucky we are to be able to tick these same three boxes when eating out in Lanzarote, for a fraction of the cost.

The price of the two main fish courses really put the tin hat on it - give me the Flatboat in the Old Town any day!

Best pub in Puerto del Carmen - past and present

2010-01-04T08:56:00.000-08:00

Let the rambling continue... And what better thing to ponder than the impossible and the hypothetical?

So, what was/is the best bar ever in Puerto del Carmen? Freddies, Charlies, The Two Wheels, The Craic n'Ceol, The Brendan Behan? The strange thing is when I think of these bars, I tend to think of them as they were, years ago.

Some have now gone. Others remain and there's nothing wrong with them in their present state. But the nostalgia-filled glory days of years gone by make it impossible for the modern-day Charlies and Freddies (does Freddies still open? I haven't been in that vicinity in the early hours of the morning in some time) and even the Behan in its new location, to compare with their earlier incarnations.

Perhaps its a sign of aging on my behalf, but it seems that the days of Dave Miller in the Two Wheels, Eamonn and Kirsty in the Craic and Freddie himself in Freddies will never be repeated in the Old Town.

Being a different country, the past, of course, is usually viewed with rose-tinted glasses and I do also remember the down-side to having a good time 'back in the day'. Those dark, come-down times usually lasted all day and often into the following night, when you turned up for work ready to cry if a door slammed, because your mental state was so tender and weak.

Thankfully, the human mind banishes bad memories (for the most part) and the rose-tinted images remain. I assume I'm not the only one who takes a similar trip down memory lane these days, with the island apparently quieter than ever and the devil-may-care looks missing from everyone's faces.

Will they ever return?

Evolution, rather than revolution

2009-12-31T02:54:00.000-08:00

The idea behind this blog was to allow people have a central location where they could find out the real stories about bars and restaurants in Lanzarote.

This would be as opposed to the bland ads such establishments take out in other publications, where sausage-sandwich-serving cafes make themselves out to be chic, gourmet restaurants and lifeless, pigsty Irish/UK bars describe themselves as the life and soul of the island's nightlife.

The opinion and comments received thus far have been few. And what has been sent in has been unpublishable (even on this anonymous forum-blog). Hence, my own ramblings on matters related to Lanzarote have been the mainstay up to now.

Hopefully, this will change with more coherent and less insulting opinions/comments on Lanzarote's bars/restaurants submitted soon. But for now, ramblings will continue...

What can you do differently? Or better?

2009-12-16T04:23:00.000-08:00

Following on from the previous post regarding more new businesses are started during a Recession, I got to wondering about new businesses starting up in Lanzarote, in general.

Let's assume that most new businesses in Lanzarote will be either eating or drinking establishments. This immediately begs the question: is there currently a shortage of such outlets in Lanzarote? For the most part, the answer is obviously no. So, why do people continue to open up new bar/restaurant businesses?

If you see a gap in the market for a particular type of food, or a certain type of pub, then great - go for it. Niche markets/locations aside (and generally, there aren't too many niche markets or locations for eating/drinking in Lanzarote) , most people should - but don't - ask themselves what they can do differently or better than the bars/restaurants already in situ, before they even speak to an estate agent/landlord?

You can sell food/drink cheaper maybe, but this becomes a downward spiral. Cheap tends to have a whiff of desperation about it too, and punters like the smell of desperation as much as they like the strong stench that they get when they walk into poorly plumbed toilets.

So, what then? Are you more charming and attractive than those behind other bars/restaurants? Sometimes, this can be enough. Sex sells after all. But what if you're competing in this regard with the endless supply of handsome/pretty young things who staff the establishments already in place?

Location? Most of the good locations for bars/restaurants are already long since taken. Chances are if there's a vacant lot/locale not far from what seems like a busy spot, then someone else has already tried (and failed) to do something there.

To end on a less depressing note however, potential start-up business owners should look at the established bars/restaurants in Lanzarote and realise that they too were once fledglings. Not all slotted in the niche market/perfect location category. (1) Some were just lucky. (2) Most worked hard, (still work hard). (3) They could afford to have lean periods. (4) There was family/friends to support them.

If new businesses can tick those boxes, then they're on square 1 of the ladder to surviving and making a living in Lanzarote.

New businesses in time of Recession

2009-12-08T04:52:00.000-08:00

A new bar/cafe/restaurant is opening up in Los Pocillos, as mentioned here on the Gazette Forum.

First of all - good luck to the people involved. They're to be commended for being brave enough to give it a go. Pub Spy admires their spirit. They've got a chance at least, given the Los Pocillos location, as is mentioned in the above Forum thread.

What i'm sure the new proprietors already know is that the Jameos Playa complex is one of the biggest on the island. And that it caters for all-inclusive holidaymakers - those who have paid in advance to be fed, watered and entertained all within the confines of a single complex.

Leaving aside the merits or otherwise of all-inclusive holidays, it'll be interesting to note how many other new pub/restaurant businesses will start up in Lanzarote in the coming months/years of the current Recession. Conventional wisdom states that with more people unemployed during a Recession, there are more people with free time on their hands and in need of work/money - hence, they start up their own business.

As with any kind of business though, its success depends on how it's run. Here's hoping the new (presumably ex-pat) bar/cafe/restaurant is well run and adds something to the Los Pocillos area.

When does liable turn into responsible?

2009-12-04T05:21:00.001-08:00

In a previous life Pub Spy reported on Town Council meetings for a regional newspaper. The issue of libel was fairly clear then - if a Councillor called a local business man a crook (to take a random example!), then we didn't print that, even though we'd only be faithfully reproducing what was said at an open meeting.

Why?

Well, because now it wasn't just the Councillor saying the business man was a crook - the newspaper was saying it also. This could be argued either way in a court of law, but the newspaper editor took the view that it wasn't worth the hassle (or cost) of finding out if we'd be liable or not.

A recent thread on the Gazette forum brought this instance to mind again. Disclaimers aside, the merit or otherwise of which is open to debate anyway, just who is responsible for the sometimes slanderous comments made on a forum? The poster who wrote them? Or the forum which faithfully printed/reproduced them?

Recent pub crawl around Puerto del Carmen

2009-12-01T06:11:00.000-08:00

To kick things off, here's something of a puzzle:

The price of a bottle of Heineken in three different Irish bars is shown below. Does this represent value for money in each case?

Brendan Behan (Old Town) - €2

Mulligans (New Town) - €4

The Dubliner (CC Maritimo) - €4.50

Rate my Lanzarote Pub

2009-08-26T06:01:00.001-07:00

Welcome to the most democratic and unbiased guide to Lanzarote's pubs and nightlife.

To enter and/or rate a pub, simply e-mail: lanzarotepubspy@gmail.com

If you've had a bad time, a good time or a great time in one of the numerous pubs in Puerto del Carmen, Playa Blanca, Costa Teguise or anyplace else on the island of Lanzarote, then we want to heard about it.

Atomsphere, prices, toilets, staff, location, opening and closing times, people you met there - we want to hear all about it.

Disclaimer: All e-mails will be vetted, before being included on this site.